41 Lbs down

Well, I have reached the 40 lb mark, THANK GOD lol...I have been threw a lot so far in this lap band journey of mine. I am really proud of myself for doing this so far but I can't help but feel like I haven't really gotten anywhere. I know some of my clothes are pretty much falling off me but I still feel like I see the same size person. Don't get me wrong I do feel better but i know that I am nowhere near done. I have about 100 more lbs to go until my Doctors goal weight. Sometimes I think i'm against myself, my mind plays tricks on me. Like I look at my plate and I know its a very small portion but because I have gotten so used to eating that size my eyes think it looks too big. Like I always convince myself that I ate too much, ugh lol who knows. I am so paranoid that I am stretching out my little pouch but from what I hear that is very hard to do. Having this band in my body has changed some things, but its my brain that continues to work against me. I could eat and because im bored I want to eat...of course I don't but just the thought makes me ashamed of myself.

Some beach...somewhere

Today I would like to talk about respect...do those who do not give respect deserve to get any? I believe that respect begins when you're young, if your mother or father teach you to have respect for others (Whippin that ass when you back talk) then you will most likely carry that into you adulthood. Being an observant person I see what kind of people children who were not taught respect can turn out to be. Take this girl I used to be friends with, she has no respect for others; lying to my face, and then bad mouthing me to others. Then apologizing when she realized I was the only good friend she HAD! Well folks, I say screw that..I will not be a door mat for some snooty, spoiled, little whine box. Treat others as you would like to be treated aye? How about...I will treat others how i would like to be treated until they screw me over, then screw them!